Affair Handbook

Some of us do it for the kicks. Some do it because we fell in love when we thought we already knew what love was. Most of us just do it because it’s exciting as hell to have a secret lover who loves the time you spend together. But let’s face it, having a side chick can be as dangerous as it is exciting. And it can destroy your life. (Have you ever seen Fatal Attraction?) If you are going to take the change of cheating on your significant other, you better do so wisely and with great caution. And nothing is more important as picking the right affair partner. The first step to having the best side chick ever is to remember the side chick basics at every step.

The Best Side Chick Will Not Fall in Love

This has got to be the Holy Grail of side chickery. She has to know, with certainty, that the relationship between the two of you will never be anything remotely close to a love affair. Affairs are about fun, sex and excitement. Once you throw love in the mix, everything is ruined. Suddenly, there is another woman you have to think about and care for. One is enough for most men to bald at an early age. Not to mention, a woman in love is a crazy train waiting to debark. Having two women in love with you is nothing short of a disaster waiting to happen when one finds out or the other gets jealous. —> Signs she is falling in love with you

The Best Side Chick Will Not Be on Any Friends Lists

Not only will a good side chick agree to keep off your friends lists but a really great side chick won’t even use social media. This is a big deal these days and can’t be overlooked. One random picture of you can end up on Facebook and destroy your entire life. Just having your phone number is dangerous enough. Once you begin to friend and follow each other on social media you are basically asking to get caught. It also doesn’t help in the jealousy arena. If your side chick follows you on Instagram and sees all the pics of you and your real girlfriend, she will get jealous and it will sit inside her life a tumor growing every day.

The Best Side Chick Knows the Public Rules

Being in public with your side chick is a tricky affair. Staying in the same motel time after time gets dull. Sometimes you want to go get a bite to eat or see a movie or go to a party but none of those things are doable when someone seeing you means the death of your life. You cannot introduce her to your friends or meet hers. This is a tried and true rule that any good side chick knows and understands. The only way you can go out in public together is if you are both somewhere far from your hometown. Even then you have to be careful and stay on the downlow.

The Best Side Chicks Were Never Friends First

One of the worst moves anyone can make is to make a lover out of a friend. More specifically, make a no-strings-attached lover out of a friend. Friends already care for each other – the one thing you don’t want a side chick to do. Starting a sexual relationship with someone who is a friend is a bad idea. Besides having feelings for you, she also knows too much about you. She knows your wife and kids. She knows where you work and worship. If things turn sour for you and her, it could turn into a real shit show.

The Best Side Chicks Know That All Good Things Come to an End

The very best side chicks always know that you are working with borrowed time. Nothing lasts forever, especially side chicks and this is common knowledge. Make sure she is privy. Very few cheaters get away with cheating and the ones who do cut their affairs off quickly. Make it clear from the onset that this relationship is for fun only and it will last no longer than a few weeks to a month or two.

No matter how you look at it, a good side chick is hard to beat. The trick is finding a side chick that is aware of all the unspoken rules and still finds a way to make life fun with her married man.