Affair Handbook

Holidays are damn stressful. While many people profess to love and adore the holiday season, even they know it can be a stressful and depressing time. (See The Facts About Holiday Stress & Depression) For those who struggle during the holidays, it isn’t unusual to seek some sort of comfort and solace during the long season. Tensions are high this time of year because families are visiting, more money is going out than coming in, and there are so many expectations to meet it can have a devastating effect on a person’s psyche. Often, having an affair during the holidays is an effective way to ease the stress, loneliness, and anxiety which occurs for so many at this time. It isn’t easy, however, to have an affair during the holidays, and certain precautions must always be taken.

An Affair During the Holidays Means Detailed Planning

There are so many things happening during the holidays. People are arriving for long visits, and others are leaving town. Shopping trips that take all day and deep cleaning weekends before the family comes to stay are regular events. With so much going on, it isn’t too hard to slip away for a clandestine meeting. Make sure your wife and family are safely ensconced in their chosen activity before you head out for your day of debauchery. Have a firm alibi in place in case anyone decides to question you. You cannot be too careful. Know where your family will be, how long they will be gone, and when they plan to return before you head out. Plan your day down to the smallest detail to help be ready for any surprise detours she may take in her trip that could affect yours.

To Have an Affair During the Holidays You Have to Make Sure Everyone in Your Family is Preoccupied

You can’t have an affair during the holidays if you are always hanging out at the house with your wife and mother-in-law. You will have to find a way to get out of the house and that means you will have to find ways to keep your wife and family busy. Send her shopping, to a holiday movie, or even to a concert or museum event. Use the visiting family to help convince her to take them out for a day of activities while you conveniently stay home to work, with a headache, or for a solo shopping day to buy gifts for your family in private. No one has to know you are really slipping off to visit your mistress.

Try to Get Out of Town

It is exponentially harder to have an affair in the same town you live in than to go outside city limits. It is even more beneficial to travel several counties away in order to have complete privacy during your holiday affair. Just going to the next town over can still have you running into people you know. It is best to go as far out of town as time allows. You may even want to do a little nonchalant checking around to make sure no one you know has any contacts in the town in which you plan to have your holiday affair. Take no chances. Unless you re really far from home, don’t go to trendy restaurants or hotels. Stay on the down low to keep your business off the front page of the family holiday newsletter.

Get a Burner Phone for Holiday Affairs

The last thing you need is to be sitting around the holiday table, candles burning, dressed in your finery next to your wife, and your mistress calls. All eyes turn to you and you have to explain who in the world would be calling at this most inopportune time. To avoid sticky situations like this, you can simply get a disposable cell phone. A burner phone is a cheap, discount version of a contract cell phone that you can pick up at any retailer like Walmart or CVS. No one has to know you have it. Keep it hidden until you are alone to check it. Let this be the only number you give your mistress, so you don’t have to worry about your personal cell phone ringing at the wrong moment.

It is possible to have an affair during the holidays. It just takes some careful planning. Take the time to think things through before you get started to make sure you can come out clean on the other side.