Affair Handbook

The thought of a man having his wife sleep with someone else can make his blood boil. Yet allowing, and even encouraging one’s wife to sleep with other men is quickly becoming one of the most popular fantasies out there.

This growing trend is what is known as having a ‘hotwife’. The term itself is pretty self-explanatory, in that a husband finds his wife attractive and gets off on the idea of other men not only flirting with her, but sleeping with her as well.

Obviously this is not going to appeal to all men. And even for those men who it does appeal to, they should not be so quick to let their wife run wild.

If this does sound appealing to you, it’s something you’re going to need to think about and ultimately discuss with your spouse. Here are a few things to consider before you can truly know whether or not having a hotwife is the right choice for you:

Do you get jealous?
What happens when you catch another man staring lustfully at your woman. Do you become filled with rage and even start a confrontation? Or do you smile at the fact that other men think your wife is sexy?

If it is the former, don’t even think about having a hotwife. If the mere concept of a man checking your wife out is going to but you over the edge, then having another man sleep with her will not bode well for you.

Are you both sexually satisfied?
Many men and women may consider taking up the hotwife lifestyle because the misses is not getting everything she needs in the bedroom. Seeking out another male to take care of her needs occasionally may seem like a simple solution, but it may not be a great idea.

This really touches upon the previous point of jealousy. Allowing your wife or girlfriend to sleep with other men to give her what she desires frames you as a man who can’t fulfill her needs. Hotwifing is done best when both parties are satisfied in the bedroom, but want to spice things up a bit.

But maybe for one reason or another, there is just no way that you alone can keep her satisfied. At this point, you may want to look at your relationship as a whole. If you two find that everything is fine outside the bedroom, and hotwifing may be a solution, then go ahead and consider it.

What turns you on about hotwifing?
The reasons for all the different sexual fantasies out there cannot be explained, nor should they be judged. However, it is a good idea to sit down and think about what really turns you on, especially when it comes to the hotwife lifestyle.

One reason many men enjoy the idea of their wife sleeping with other men is that it gives them validation in several ways. One such way is that if a man finds his attraction to his significant other fading, he rationalizes that seeing her with other men will rekindle his attraction for her. Another way men get validation from having a hotwife is because they get satisfaction knowing that they have a wife who is lusted after by other men.

Again, your kinks are yours to have and should be free of judgment. However, it is not wise to engage in this lifestyle and to drag you and your partner into it for the wrong reasons.

Hotwifing best serves men who are aroused by watching their wife with other men for voyeuristic purposes. It is also for those who are aroused by the thought of infidelity and are able to explore it in a safe and controlled environment. If your reason for engaging in hotwifing does not fall in, or close to one of the aforementioned reasons then you may want to reconsider this lifestyle.

Is there room for one (or many) more?
If you want to turn your wife into a ‘hotwife’ then you’re going to need to have a discussion and plan for how this is all going to pan out. For example, do you two want to find a consistent lover for her or just a string of one night stands?

If you two want to find her a third man, how will this man play into your relationship? Obviously, he will be sleeping with her often which brings up the dilemma of whose sexual needs take precedent. It also brings to light the fact that this man may be exposed to family members or friends. If so, how will he be introduced and continuously brought around?

On the other hand, having multiple one night stands brings up the possibility of STD’s and unplanned pregnancies. Also, seeking out new men on a regular basis may become an issue.

There are many other questions and ideas that men need to consider and discuss with their wives before entering into this lifestyle. They should all be thoroughly deliberated on, but once they are things can finally move forward.