Affair Handbook

Unless you’re one of the few lucky people who have the trust and consent of their partner to be in an open relationship, your affair is your biggest secret and you have to do it on the sly. There are any number of reasons driving the desire to cheat. The most common factors are dead end relationships and feeling lonely in your own home, but others may find the thrill is a great fit for them or simply that one partner is not enough. No matter what your reason is, if you’ve opted to cheat instead of leave your relationship altogether, you need to keep your personal business on lockdown. There’s a lot of obvious ways to get caught, like failing to erase your Internet history, but a lot of men forget to keep their behavior in check as well. Acting suspiciously around your spouse or live-in girlfriend will create problems and can get your found out. Here are some major mistakes to avoid unless you’re looking to get caught.


 

1. Zoning Out and Not Paying Attention to Your Spouse

It may be tempting to start to distance yourself from your spouse right away when you’ve been craving escape for years, and finally have a new partner who’s flooding your thoughts all day long. Unfortunately, sudden distance and constantly zoning out is going to alert your wife to what’s going on. No one in your house, spouse or kids, should have to keep repeating questions to you while you’re off in outer space thinking about your new girlfriend. Much as you may not like it, if you intend to keep your affair hidden you’re going to have to play the part. Even if your relationship is terrible and tense, that’s the norm for your household and you have to keep up normal appearances. You still need to pay attention to the current members of your family or they’ll know something is up.
 

2. Paying TOO Much Attention to Your Spouse

On the same note, suddenly being overly affectionate with a spouse you’ve been distant with for years will have the same effect. If you haven’t brought your wife flowers since you dated, now is NOT the time to start. Being overly friendly, attentive, and showering her with gifts won’t just get perceived as “nice” but instead as suspicious activity. She’ll see that you’re trying to make up for something and want to know where this surprisingly good mood came from. In fact, a lot of women’s websites will be front and center warning her about this very thing in their articles about “How to Tell if He’s Cheating” and posts about warning signs she should look out for. Instead being overly nice or cheesy, play it cool and just act as you usually would around her.
 

3. Suddenly Changing Your Sex Life at Home, for Better or Worse

While most people who have never had an affair before would assume that anything that remained of your sex life with your spouse or long-term significant other would dry up entirely, that’s not always the case. Having sex with another person is incredibly stimulating, and a lot of times it can up your sex drive (rate your sex drive here) to the point where your relationship in bed with your current will actually IMPROVE instead of shriveling up. That might seem great at first, but don’t think your sudden need to get it on every night is going to go unnoticed by your spouse. ANY sudden changes are not good for keeping your affair a secret, so even when you’re feeling a sudden surge of attraction to your current partner, don’t do anything out of the ordinary.
 

4. Losing Weight or Exercising with Sudden Enthusiasm

The worse your relationship has been for years, the less you’ve probably been making an effort to look good or your wife or long term girlfriend. With the occasional exception like anniversaries and holidays, most guys who have rough relationship at home where the spark has just died out don’t put much time into shaving every day, exercising, and working on their diets. When you finally get the spark back with a new girl, changing up your routine and putting a lot of effort into your looks is going to be a huge red flag for your spouse. Seeing you put in all that effort for someone who isn’t her will immediately raise her suspicions and create hostility you don’t need.
 

5. You are Carelessly Spending a LOT of Money

Even if you’re able to keep everything private and your wife doesn’t have access to your financial records, it’s not hard to tell when you’ve been spending big time all over the place. New clothes, new cologne, haircuts, and even small things like an upgraded watch can tip her off to your sudden desire to impress someone new. Resist the urge to spend a bunch of money all at once without being able to produce a solid excuse about WHY you can work so many new purchases into your budget. Keep things on the discreet side and spend slowly to avoid arousing suspicion.