If you are in a committed relationship you may be seeing signs that indicated that the person you are with may not be as committed to you as you are to them. Although individuals have different reasons why they cheat or have an affair, there are some commonalities that tie cheaters together. Whether they are internal characteristics of the person, or some strife going on in the relationship itself, studies have indicated situations and circumstances that can sometimes lead people to step out on their partner.

The top 8 reasons why people go outside of their current relationship are

1. Boredom and feeling unappreciated are the number one reason why people cheat. When a relationship first begins you value the other person. In most relationships you can’t seem to get enough of each other. There sometimes is an unrealistic expectation about the lasting excitement within a relationship. Everyone is looking for a fairytale romance, but in every relationship there is going to be a time when the excitement is not what it used to be. When that happens, some people will chase that feeling with another person to gain that feeling back that has been lost.

2. Impulse control is another reason why people cheat or have affairs. Most of us have the ability to have interest in someone of the other sex, but stop ourselves from acting on it. There are some personality types that do not have the ability to think about the consequences of their actions and how they will effect their future. Highly impulsive people are more likely to act on their desires when in a committed relationship, because the reward is too great to stop themselves in the moment.

3. People looking for an excuse or a “way out” of a relationship will often cheat on their partner as a means to an end. If they are unsure or do not have the courage to be honest with their spouse or significant other, they use an extracurricular junction to get out of their current situation. If someone is in a destructive relationship and are afraid to end things for one reason or another, having an affair, or cheating is a good way to sabotage the relationship enough that the other person will no longer want to be with them, setting them free from the harm of it.

4. Anger or spite is another reason why a mate will cheat. If they are resentful to their partner for one reason or another, they may use betrayal as the ultimate way to get back at them. Anger can drive people to do some really powerful things, cheating can be a tool for significant hurt to the other person in a relationship. Many married men will have an affair as revenge for something their wife may have done.

5. Low self esteem can drive people to look for others who find them sexually attractive. There are some people who have low self-esteem who are constantly seeking out attention from people from the opposite sex even when in committed relationships. Those desires to be found attractive can sometimes lead to cheating behaviors to confirm that they are still attractive to others besides their current partner.

6. Definitions of cheating can be very different from one individual to the next. There may be some behaviors which one in the relationship will consider cheating, while the other doesn’t see it the same way. Cheating on someone can be on so many different levels that the person who is doing the cheating may not even believe they are doing so, or feel badly about their behavior. Sometimes it is in the way that you define a relationship, being “together” and being committed are two very different definitions to people.

7. Past Modeling is a big part of why people cheat. If the person you are with came from an unstable home, or one where relationships were not valued, or honored, they are more likely to cheat. Because we are a product of our upbringing whether we like to believe so or not, if we grow up believing that a relationship is fleeting, that is the way that normally treat them in our own lives.

8.vMistrust is another reason why people cheat. No one wants to be taken advantage of or be made a fool. If a partner believes that they are being cheated on, it is more likely that they will cheat themselves. If you do not trust the person you are with to remain faithful, you are less likely to remain faithful to them when your chances to move on are presented.