Affair Handbook

If you’ve decided to have an affair, the last thing you want is to be stupid about it. Being stupid gets you caught, and getting caught means the end of your marriage. Thankfully acting stupid is easily avoided; there are several things you can do to keep your online dating profile on the down low. Changing up a few things here and there can ensure no one will ever know that you’re secretly stepping out. Below you will find six easy tips which will help keep your profile hidden from your spouse. Follow our advice and it will greatly reduce your odds of getting caught.



 

#1 – Use a Different Photo

First and foremost, you don’t want anyone quickly scrolling by a list of dating profiles to pick you out of the group. The photo you use should be unrecognizable as yourself, perhaps covering part of your face, an odd angle, or you wearing a wig. It should be you enough for your date to recognize you when you meet up in person, but different enough that your wife’s best friend isn’t going to catch you and rat you out.
 

#2 – Make Up a New Name

You’d be surprised how many people don’t think to do something as simple as change their name, whether it’s their real name or the username they’ve been using on the internet for the last decade. Creating a new name can be difficult to remember, but it’ll definitely lessen the odds that you’ll get caught. No matter how clever you are or how much you think your wife hates video games, she will absolutely notice if you use your X-Box user handle. And if she doesn’t, there’s a good chance that someone who’s friended your account will.
 

#3 – Use a Different Email Account

It’s an extremely good idea to create an email account that you use solely for your dating profile hookups. Your wife likely has access to your email account, or if not the odds are high that she’ll get on your shared computer and accidentally find that you’re still logged in to your existing account. Or if she’s already suspicious, she may try to stealthily swipe your cell phone to get a peek at what you have going on. If you have one dedicated email account for all your cheating profiles, one you always make sure you log out of, she’d have no way to find out the truth.

#4 – List Yourself in a Different Location

Listing yourself as living in an area where you don’t is a great way to avoid a lot of trouble. If you work far from where you live, you can use your office zip code instead of your home to make sure that the radius of results is well out of your danger one. Even better, though, is if you are able to use a different city entirely. If you often visit relatives in another city or state, or frequently travel for business to one particular location, those are great places to use. Not only are they great for setting up your dating profile, but they’re even better for going out on actual dates. The odds that your wife would catch you cheating in another state are incredibly small, after all, and it allows you to be much freer in public than you might otherwise be able to. Which also spares you the awkward conversation of having to explain (or make up an excuse for) why you have to be discreet when you’re out in public together.
 

#5 – Be Careful About Who You Answer Messages For

It’s the true nightmare scenario. Imagine answering a promising message only to find out that it’s your wife’s cousin or best friend. Talk about an awful way to get caught! Check out each users profile as thoroughly as you can manage (Profile Buzz Words Guys Go Crazy For), looking for any hints that it might be someone you know or who knows your wife. Clues to look for would involve where they work, the kinds of social activities they’re involved in or even the area where they live. Dating people from the opposite side of town from where everyone you know lives is a really good idea.
 

#6 – Lie About Some Details

You’re already cheating, so why stop there? Fudge your criteria just enough so that anyone who knows you wouldn’t realize your profile is yours. Change your height by an inch or so, alter your body type. Pick out a phony religion for yourself and lie about your age. All of these things change what searches you show up on, which is definitely to your benefit when you’re trying your best to keep from being found out. This is an especially useful tip if your wife starts to get suspicious. If you’re 30 old, 5’11 and 220 pounds but list yourself as 28 years old, 6’1 and 230 pounds, she’s probably not going to find you on a search. And hopefully if she does anyway, you’ll have an unidentifiable profile image, be listed in a different location, and otherwise be as unidentifiable as possible.