Affair Handbook

There are a number of reasons that people engage in extramarital affairs ranging from the no-strings-attached variety to the clandestine love affair type. The obvious explanations are that they are not fulfilled emotionally, sexually or perhaps neither, within the current confines of their relationship. Yet there is one reason that is often overlooked: Revenge.

Sex is an incredibly powerful act both physically and emotionally. When someone finds out that their partner has been having sex with someone else it can do major damage and in some cases drive people to a type of temporary insanity. Many do not know how exactly to respond to this; some will seek out alcohol; some will try to pretend that it never happened. Yet, there are some people in the world who will take part in an affair of their own for the sake of revenge. There are two different schools of thought on revenge affairs: On one hand, some may say the partner is justified because it is only fair if they make it even so to speak. On the other hand, two wrongs do not necessarily make a right, especially when it comes to having an affair. Whether or not revenge affairs are moral, or even practical, is up for debate. What is certain is that revenge affairs do happen, and if you were caught having an affair there is the possibility that you may end up experiencing what your spouse did.

To understand this concept more, let’s look at the different types of these affairs:
 

Types of Revenge Affairs

There are two different types of revenge affairs, or to be more precise, there are two different perspectives of revenge affairs.

The first perspective is that your spouse has an affair because you yourself were caught having one. The second perspective is being the ‘other man’ with a cheating woman; this woman found out her husband had an affair and is looking for one of her own. In the latter case, a man who engages in this affair should not have much to fear. He’s simply gratifying sexual urges with a woman who wants no strings attached. On the other hand, the first perspective is a potential concern. In order to mitigate the possibility of this affair, it is important to first do everything you can to prevent it from happening.
 

How to Prevent a Revenge Affair

Getting caught red-handed in an affair will certainly have negative implications. If your spouse seeks an affair of her own to get even it will only make matters worse. This is why it is essential to prevent an additional affair from happening. The most important and obvious precaution is to simply avoid getting caught in the first place. This is easier said than done, but it is important to take the right steps to ensure you don’t get caught. This means always keeping your story straight, creating two completely different lifestyles, and treating both women in your life well. In the event you are caught, do not give your wife a reason to have an affair of her own. Show her that you are the only man she needs in her life.
 

Are Revenge Affairs a Likely Possibility?

Realistically, revenge fairs are not likely to happen. It would take a lot for a spouse to have an affair of their own just to get revenge. If they did, it would likely mean that they were not satisfied with the relationship in the first place. It is also important to note that men and women cheat for different reasons. A man cheats more often to gratify his sexual urges, whereas women have affairs to fulfill emotional needs. This means that a woman is probably not going to cheat “just because”. If she does cheat it will be to make their husband jealous and validate that they are still attractive and desirable.
 

What to do if a Revenge Affair Happens

If a woman has a revenge affair, it isn’t necessarily as bad as a typical affair. When a woman has an affair out of revenge, her actions were a result of her husband’s actions. Had he not cheated, she wouldn’t have either. This means that she was less likely to be harboring resent and dissatisfaction before learning of her husband’s affair. Nonetheless, a man’s wife having an affair is never ideal. IF she does go through with it, you two are now even. You both now know what it is like to have a sexual and emotional relationship with someone else after being married. Have a discussion with her about this. Look at the root causes for both of your affairs. It is possible to salvage a marriage at this point, but it will be a lot of work.