Affair Handbook

Affairs are a delicate thing. People have them for a whole slew of reasons. Some people have affairs because they lose confidence in their attractiveness and allure after a lengthy relationship, others crave the excitement of an illicit thing, and others are just bored and look to alleviate the monotony of a long-term relationship. What most people who have affairs are not looking for is another long-term relationship. But affairs are emotionally charged, exciting things and people get carried away all too often. If your not careful, a woman who seems fine with a quickie affair at first can turn into an obsessed, love stricken stalker. – Five Signs You Have A Stalker – Fortunately, there are several precautions you can take to make sure your affair partner doesn’t get attached.

Set Clear Rules & Boundaries

Before you ever take your first forbidden date, make sure your affair partner knows exactly what you’re in it for. This doesn’t have to be a crass conversation. You don’t have to be rude or disrespectful. In fact, most women appreciate a direct, honest approach instead of leading her on and suddenly disappearing. Be straight forward when you tell her that you do not have any intention of ending your marriage. Explain why you feel the need to have an affair and what you need to take from it.

Set a Timeframe

Not all affair situations are conducive to this approach, but if it works, set a designated time frame to end the affair. Maybe you just need a weekend thing or perhaps you’re on a week-long business trip. It may be even longer if that feels right. Setting a designated time frame for the affair lets her know that it won’t be forever and you have no intention of falling I love. She knows from the very start that this is meant for fun and nothing else.

Never Say the L Word

Telling your affair partner you love her is never a good idea. Even if you two are the best of friends, that word should never be broached. Sex changes a relationship quickly and enhances emotions already present. Saying the dreaded L word can give her some idea that you may want to continue the affair or take it to the next level. It’s OK to have feelings for the person your involved in an affair with but it shouldn’t go beyond what you have for your wife.

Don’t Meet Her Friends and Family

Under no circumstances should you meet her BFF, coworkers, family or anyone she hangs out with. Besides risking getting caught, your also giving her the feeling of being a couple. If her friends and family know she sees you, they will ask her about you when you aren’t around. She’ll get a lot of questions about her new boyfriend and where the relationship is going. Before you know it, she’ll begin thinking of you that way too, even if its subconsciously. The same goes for your friends and coworkers. If you allow her to meet your friends she will think there is more to what you have going on than there really is. Plus, it is a move just asking to be caught. The more people know about the affair, the more people you have to worry about talking. Even if the people do not know you, its possible they can run into you or your wife at another time, blowing your cover.

Keep Your Private Info Private

It seems a little 007 but your best bet when having an affair is to get a cheap, disposable cell phone to use solely for the affair. Do not keep it at your home but somewhere more confidential. Keep it at work, or in your gym locker. Set up the voicemail so you can check it from any other phone. Doing so makes it all that much easier to cut off contact when the time comes. Also, never allow important info like your home address, place of employment or hangouts slip out in conversation with her. Keep your affair separate from all other parts of your life.

Be Emotionally Distant

Love and attachment develop when two people are emotionally fulfilling to each other. Keeping the sex on the forefront of the relationship and avoiding any emotional security can keep her from developing feelings for you. This doesn’t mean be a jerk to her or show your misogynistic tendencies. It just means to treat her like a friend, with respect and appreciation.

Keeping an affair from getting to emotional isn’t easy for either participant sometimes. It takes a lot of willpower in many cases. Make sure to keep your goals in mind and stick to the plan all the way through. There may come a time when things feel right with this other woman, but affairs that become relationships rarely work out.