Affair Handbook

People have affairs for all kinds of reasons. It’s a personal decision that has the ability to affect your entire life. It can be both devastating and helpful. Research has shown us that affairs often help a marriage but only if you keep it a secret, get what you need out of the affair, and end it. But what if you tell your wife about the affair? There are some men who find the guilt overwhelming or some type of situation may make it more beneficial to tell her as opposed to forever burying it. Is it possible that an affair can benefit a marriage after your wife finds out about it?

First and foremost, think and rethink making the affair public. If it’s a guilt thing, seek out additional ways to deal with it. End the affair, of course, but deal with the guilt in other ways than telling your wife. Buy her a lot of nice things, take her on vacation, rekindle the romance you showed her in the early dating days. Doing all these things can help you feel better about having an affair and get you refocused on your marriage. You will remember why you fell in love in the first place. Look at your wife as if she is a totally new person and she will respond as one. She will begin to see the changes in you immediately and it will most definitely affect your marriage beneficially. Why disrupt this newfound happiness with some bummer news like an affair? All she really will care about in the end is the way you treat her now. Is your guilt really a good enough reason to disrupt her happiness? You may want to give that some thought before you make any life altering decisions.
 

What Leads A Partner To Have An Affair?

As previously stated, affairs happen for all sorts of reasons, be it not enough sex in the marriage or a mid-life crisis. Whatever the reason, fulfilling that itch is often all it takes to be able to feel better about yourself and your marriage and return to it full steam ahead. To pull this off successfully you will have to have it planned from the start of the affair. Know from the onset that you have a secret desire and a private need to fulfill something and once you do, it’s back to life as we know it. Firmly establishing this goal helps you to stay on track. Specifically seek out the things you’re soul is lacking in your affair partner. If you’re going to do it do it right. For an affair to help your marriage without going through some sort of cathartic unveiling stage, you’ll need to completely fulfill any need you have been experiencing. Live out all your fantasies and try everything you have been dreaming of doing. Get it all out of your system.
 

Keep Your Eye On The Prize

Another important thing to remember is that the entire time you’re having an affair and fulfilling your needs you need to be setting the groundwork to improve your marriage when the affair is all over. Begin by designating which areas of your married life are the biggest problems and sort them out. What is it that bothers you about her the most? What makes you argue the most? What could you do to inspire change in her as well? Determine what you can learn to live with and what you can do to positively change the things you cant. You have to remember that things will not change in an instant. It will take a lot of time and effort before you begin to see an improvement. Make sure you have a solid plan. Work it out on paper with a general time line to make sure it’s feasible. This is especially important if you’re planning to take her on vacation or to specific locations at specific times like anniversaries or birthdays.
 

Telling Her Your Cheating Is Not Always Smart

You don’t have to tell your wife about the affair for it to be beneficial. So many wives have said they wish they never knew, especially when the husbands used it as a healing process. There is a catch, however. It has to be your goal from the onset. If at any point you fall in love with your mistress, become emotionally involved in any way or have specific feelings one way or another, you’re basically doomed. To be healing for the marriage it truly has to be the goal of the affair. If all else fails and she must find out about it, take the opportunity to attend whatever type of counselling your wife is most fond of. Make she knows that you do indeed want to work on the relationship and realize it was a culmination of your shortcomings that led it the affair in the first place.