Affair Handbook

Everyone has heard the saying once a cheater, always a cheater. It has been around a long time and for good reason. Many psychologists, sociologists, and researchers believe it is ultimately true. According to sociologist Eric Anderson, men are biologically driven to cheat. The handsomer a man is, the more likely he is to cheat and continue cheating as long he has the opportunity. The same rule applies to women. As men and women age, they become less likely to cheat because the opportunities slow but the desire is still there. See The Report.

Has technology made once a cheater, always a cheater true?

It is true that social media and sexually oriented dating sites and apps have made it super easy to cheat. There are even dating sites set up to service married cheaters. The most recent polls show that 30 to 60 percent of married people will cheat during their marriage. That number has risen since the 80’s and 90’s. This points to the Internet as a significant reason for the uprising. With so much opportunity available for cheaters to spread their wings is it so hard to believe that someone would do it over and again? Once a person cheats on their partner it becomes easier and easier. This is especially true if the first affair goes undetected.

Does where a person lives change the once a cheater, always a cheater myth?

You wouldn’t think that where a person lives would have anything to do with if they would cheat or not. The truth is, it does. Several studies have shown that people who live in cities cheat more often than those who live in the country. Read: Why people in the country are happier. This believed to be because of the differing cultures. People who live in the cities live more solitary lives despite the more populated areas. Rural dwellers have a smaller community and may feel that they have a better chance of getting caught. The luxury of anonymity is not present for those in rural areas because small town people tend to have tighter knot communities. Everyone really does know everyone else’s business. Once a cheater, always a cheater is much easier to accomplish in an urban environment.

Do Unhappy Marriages Force Men into a once a cheater, always a cheater state of mind?

So many cheaters blame their affairs on an unhappy marriage but studies have shown that may not be true. Poll after poll show men believe they will cheat no matter what state their marriage is in. Affairs most often happen in the first five years of marriage but can occur at any time. Most men say they cheat because the opportunity presented itself. It does not matter if the marriage is happy or troubled. Men also cheat to acquire more attention for themselves. There are some men who deeply crave the attention of women for psychological reasons. Once they have made a conquest, they need more and more attention from new women to make themselves feel normal and alive. Once a cheater, always a cheater is simply a way for them to feel good about themselves.

The one strange fact that remains in this mystery is that men cheat differently than women. Women are more inclined to cheat for a reason, an unhappy marriage, lack of intimacy etc. Men however cheat for any reason and no reason. They cheat whenever the opportunity presents itself. Once a cheater, always a cheater rings more true for men than for women for that reason.

Whether the saying Once a cheater, always a cheater is true or not really depends on each individual person. Men are more likely to cheat and cheating dwindles in older years but whether that behavior happens repeatedly is solely dependent on the person. Some people, men and women, crave attention subconsciously. If confronted, these types of people would deny the existence of this need. They don’t realize they have this need. It is this type of person that will always be a cheater. They will continually search out affairs to fill the need inside them for attention. Most often it is a childhood trauma that spurs this unyielding need. As small children they were ignored or did not receive the nurturing they needed at that age. Sufferers grow up with a desire to be the center of attention and be the center of someone’s world. The phrase once a cheater, always a cheater will always be true for them.